Dear Wedding Details,
I’m not sure how I feel about you. My opening statement was almost a frustrated wail of “you absolute bastard!”, but I’m trying to temper myself. Maybe it’s because I love looking at details but I’m all thumbs when it comes to crafting something from nothing. Maybe it’s because couples feel an extraordinary amount of stress as their wedding day approaches. Maybe it’s because you really just are an absolute bastard.
Maybe I’m being unfair.
With my thinking head on, I know that no two weddings are the same, and no two weddings have the same details. But who am I kidding?
In this age of Pinterest and Instagram there’s such a lot of pressure to perform. So many trends that look incredible in a styled shoot actually involve so much work that by the time you’re halfway through crafting your perfect wedding you’d rather stick pins in your eyes. What you don’t see on Pinterest is that a styled shoot might have 15 different wedding vendors providing different details and coordinated by one person whose job it is to realise the overall vision.
This image shows what happens when 4 vendors, 2 organisers and a stylist work together. Without the two organisers creating a vision this would not have been possible.
A stylist can guide, but your wedding, the vision has to begin with you.
The total team involved on this styled shoot was 20.
(It was a very busy day.)
You can see the full gallery and list of vendors in this post.
It can be pretty overwhelming when you’re not sure where or how to begin. The beauty of tinternet is that you can get ALL THE IDEAS very quickly – but it’s easy to get overwhelmed and make decisions you might regret.
These two lighting set ups below are both beautiful. They’re both inviting, and they’re both sympathetic to the surroundings.
What recourse is there for couples who don’t know where to start?
The beauty of tinternet is that you can go from not knowing anything to knowing everything very quickly. It can be pretty overwhelming knowing where to begin, so I asked my buddy Caroline Walsh at The Wedding Alchemist some questions to try to get to grips with the business of wedding details.
In her own words…
“I offer a huge range of hire elements as I can create bespoke elements for you if you have something specific in mind. My speciality is more unusual weddings, from concrete urban to superheroes I embrace everyones wedding ideas and add those finishing touches, no raised eyebrows here!”
How can couples express themselves in their wedding details?
Some wedding day advice is consistent no matter what kind of vendor you chat with: you both need to think about what you really want, and decide which things you just will not budge on – a point made by Caroline in our chat.
“Whether it’s lego figurines in your table centres, a travel inspired seating plan, or photos of lost loved ones, do what you want to represent you as a couple, not what you think your guests expect.”
So if you’re not into all the traditional wedding stuff you really don’t need to do it. You don’t need to feel swayed by others into having details you’re not really that interested in, and you can express elements of your personalities and relationship on your wedding day.
While it can be nice to look at wedding trends, you ultimately don’t want your wedding to end up looking like it’s for someone else. Don’t exclude details you really like just because they’re not ‘on trend’ that year.
I reckon one of the hardest decisions figuring out what goes together – and avoiding what doesn’t.
What kind of colour palette are you going to choose?
How can you know which colours are great together?
“Any colours can go together when you use them in the right way. That is where I come in. Usually one colour is the main focus with one or more other colours coming in to complement this. Make sure to consider existing colours in the venue and if these need to be taken into consideration when choosing your colour scheme.”
How Much Is Too Much?
So once you’ve decided what you want, where do you draw the line? How do you know if you’ve finished? With all the costs associated with weddings, it can be easy to splurge on things like details without pausing to tot it all up.
Too much is putting you into a huge amount of debt as you begin your married life.
Everyone has a budget, everyone has an idea of what they want.
You want all the bells and whistles it will cost more but with hire it can work out cheaper.
Does decking out your wedding have to cost a lot?
“Not necessarily, if you do not have much of a budget, think carefully about decor elements you think will really make an impact in your venue and perhaps leave the chargers and fancy cutlery.”
If you’re still totally overwhelmed there are people like Caz who live and breathe wedding details. They’re wedding stylists, who keep their finger on the pulse and have a wide network of contacts within the industry. They can help you design the look of your wedding, working with you on a budget and set up. They’ve seen it all, and love a challenge.
Wedding details, I shouldn’t have called you an absolute bastard. It’s just because I know how awesome you can be, but how much stress you can cause. I reckon with a bit of forethought, careful planning, lots of chat and some assistance from magicians like Caroline, you’re actually my favourite. I love entering a wedding and seeing how a couple has put their own stamp on a venue, how they’ve expressed themselves and not just picked things out of a line up.